When Harry Met Sally_part 1

Transcripted by Yours Truly

A Rob Reiner Film

Harry Burns - Billy Crystal
Sally Allbright - Meg Ryan
Marie - Carrie Fisher
Jess - Bruno Kirby
Joe - Steven Ford
Alice - Lisa Jane Persky
Amanda - Michelle Nicastro

Man: I was sitting with my friend Arthur Cornrom in a restaurant. It was an ___ ___ cafeteria and this beautiful girl walked in and I turned to Arthur and I said, "Arthur, you see that girl? I'm going to marry her, and two weeks later we were married and it's over fifty years later and we are still married.

(At the university, Harry and Amanda kissing goodbye.)

Amanda: I love you

Harry: I love you

Sally: (clears throat) kmm kmm... Kmm Kmm

Amanda: Oh, hi Sally. Sally, this is Harry Burns. Harry, this is Sally Allbright.

Harry: Nice to meet you.

Sally: You want to drive the first shift?

Harry: No, you're there already you can start.

Sally: Back's open.

Amanda: Call me.

Harry: I'll call you as soon as I get there.

Amanda: Oh, call me from the road.

Harry: I'll call you before that.

Amanda: I love you.

Harry: I love you.

Sally: (honks) Sorry.

Harry: I miss you already, huh, I miss you already.

Amanda: I miss you.

Harry: Bye.

Amanda: Bye.

(Harry and Sally in the car, on their whay to New York)

Sally: I have it all figured out. It's an eighteen hour trip which breaks down into six shifts of three hours each or alternatively we could break it down by mileage.

(Harry climbs to reach for something at the back-seat)

Sally: There's a...there's a map on the huh... visor that I've marked to show the locations so we can change shifts.

Harry: Grapes?

Sally: No, I don't like to eat between meals.

(Harry spits pits out but the window was shut)

Harry: I'll roll down the window. Why don't you tell me the story of your life.

Sally: Story of my life?

Harry: We've got eighteen hours to kill before we hit New York.

Sally: The story of my life isn't even going to get us out of Chicago I mean nothing's happened to me yet. That's why I'm going to New York.

Harry: So something can happen to you?

Sally: Yes.

Harry: Like what? Sally: I can go into journalism school to become a reporter.

Harry: So you can write about things that happen to other people.

Sally: That's one way to look at it.

Harry: Suppose nothing happens to you. Suppose you lived out your whole life and nothing happens you never meet anybody you never become anything and finally you die in one of those New York deaths which nobody notices for two weeks until the smell drifts into the hallway.

Sally: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side.

Harry: That's what drew her to me.

Sally: Your dark side.

Harry: Sure. Why don't you have a dark side? No you're probably one of those cheerful people who dots their eyes with little hearts. Sally: I have just as much of a dark side as the next person.

Harry: Oh really. When I buy a new book I always read the last page first that way in case I die before I finish I know how it ends. That my friend is a dark side.

Sally: That doesn't mean you're deep or anything I mean... yes, basically I'm a happy person... Harry: So am I.

Sally: ...and I don't see that there's anything wrong with that.

Harry: Of course not you're too busy being happy. Do you ever think about death?

Sally: Yes.

Harry: Sure you do, a fleeting thought that jumps in and out of the transient of your mind. I spend hours, I spend days...

Sally: And you think that makes you a better person.

Harry: Look, when the shit comes down I'm gonna be prepared and you're not that's all I'm saying.

Sally: And in the mean time you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it.

(a while later, still in the car)

Sally: You're wrong.

Harry: I'm not wrong, he wants...

Sally: You're wrong.

Harry: ...he wants her to leave that's why he puts her on the plane. Sally: I don't think she wants to stay.

Harry: Of course she wants to stay. Wouldn't you rather be with Humphrey Bogart than the other guy? Sally: I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Casablanca married to a man who runs a bar. I probably sound very snobbish to you but I don't.

Harry: You'd rather be in a passionless marriage.

Sally: And be the first lady of Czechoslovakia.

Harry: Than live with the man you've had the greatest sex of you life with, and just because he owns a bar and that is all he does.

Sally: Yes. And so had any woman in her right mind, woman are very practical, even Ingrid Bergman which is why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie.

(They pull up to a road side cafe.)

Harry: I understand.

Sally: What? What?

Harry: Nothing.

Sally: What?

Harry: Forget about it.

Sally: For.. What? Forget about what?

Harry: It's not important.

Sally: No just tell me.

Harry: Obviously you haven't had great sex yet. (Turns to waitress) Two please.

Waitress:: Right over there.

Sally: Yes I have.

Harry: No you haven't. Sally: It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex. (Silence, the whole restaurant looks at Sally. Sally realises what she had done, walks carefully with a tilted head towards the table.)

Harry: With whom? Sally: What?

Harry: With whom did you have this great sex? Sally: I'm not going to tell you that!

Harry: Fine, don't tell me.

Sally: Shel Gordon.

Harry: Shel? Sheldon? No, no, you didn't have great sex with ... Sheldon.

Sally: I did too.

Harry: No you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal Sheldon's your man, but humping and pumping is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. Do it to me 'Sheldon', you're an animal 'Sheldon', ride me big 'Sheldon'. Doesn't work.

Waitress: Hi, what can I get ya?

Harry: I'll have a number three.

Sally: I'd like the chef salad please with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie a la mode.

Waitress: Chef and apple a la mode.

Sally: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real if it's out of a can then nothing.

Waitress: Not even the pie?

Sally: No, just the pie, but then not heated.

Waitress: Uh huh.

Sally: What? Harry: Nothing, nothing. So how come you broke up with Sheldon? Sally: How you know we broke up?

Harry: Because if you didn't break up you wouldn't be here with me, you'd be off with Sheldon the wonder-schlong.

Sally: First of all, I am not *with* you, and second of all it is none of your business why we broke up.

Harry: You're right, you're right, I don't want to know.

Sally: Well if you must know, it was because he was very jealous and I had these days-of-the-week underpants.

Harry: (imitates a wrong answer buzzer) uah! I'm sorry I need a judge's ruling on this...days-of-week underpants.

Sally: Yes. They had the days of the week on them and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, 'You never wear Sunday'. It's all suspicious, where was Sunday, where was Sunday? And I told him and he didn't believe me.

Harry: Why?

Sally: They don't make Sunday.

Harry: Why?

Sally: Because of God.

(They've finished eating.)

Sally: (talking to herself) Ok, so fifteen percent of my share is ninety... six ninety. This leaves seven. (To Harry) What? Do I have something on my face?

Harry: You're a very attractive person.

Sally: Thank you.

Harry: Amanda never said how attractive you were.

Sally: Well may be she doesn't think I'm attractive.

Harry: I don't think it's a matter of opinion, empirically you are attractive.

Sally: Amanda is my friend.

Harry: So?

Sally: So you're going with her.

Harry: So?

Sally: So you're coming on to me!

Harry: No I wasn't. What?

(Sally is not impressed, jaw drops, wide eyes)

Harry: Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on? Alright, alright, let's just say just for the sake of argument that it was a come-on. What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, ok? I take it back.

Sally: You can't take it back.

Harry: Why not?

Sally: Because it's already out there.

Harry: Oh gees, what are we suppose to do, call the cops? It's already out there.

Sally: Just let it lie, ok?

Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. That's what I always say, let it lie. Wanna spend the night at a motel? See what I did? I didn't let it lie.

Sally: Harry. Harry: I said I wouldn't and I didn't.

Sally: Harry.

Harry: I went the other way.

Sally: Harry.

Harry: What?

Sally: We are just going to be friends, ok?

Harry: Great! Friends! It's the best thing.

(On the road once more)

Harry: You realise of course that we can never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I'm saying is... and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form, is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That's not true, I have a number of men friends and there's is no sex involved.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: No you don't.

Sally: Yes I do.

Harry: You only think you do.

Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?

Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: They do not.

Harry: Do too.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he always wants to have sex with her.

Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.

Harry: Nuh, you pretty much wanna nail'em too.

Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?

Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Sally: Well I guess we're not going to be friends then.

Harry: Guess not.

Sally: That's too bad. You are the only person I knew in New York.

(Louis Armstrong breaks into "You say neither, I say....". They've reached the Big Apple and are unloading Harry's luggage)

Harry: Thanks for the ride.

Sally: Yeah, it was interesting.

Harry: It was nice knowing you.

Sally: Yeah.

(They shake hands)

Sally: Well have a nice life.

Harry: You too.

(Luois is back with the song and it switches to another couple on a couch) Woman: We fell in love in high school.

Man: Yeah we were... we were high school sweethearts.

Woman: But then after our junior year his parents moved away.

Man: But I never forgot her.

Woman: He never forgot me.

Man: No, her face is burned on my brain. And it was thirty four years later that I was walking down Broadway and I saw her come out of _______ .

Woman: And we both looked at each other, and it was just as though not a single day had gone by.

Man: She was just as beautiful as she was at sixteen.

Woman: He was just the same. He looked exactly the same. (Sally and Joe kissing in the airport, Harry walked by and saw them.)

Harry: Joe! I thought it was you. I thought it was you. Harry Burns.

Joe: Harry, Harry how're you doing?

Harry: Good, how're you doing?

Joe: I'm...fine, I'm doing fine.

Harry: Yeah, it's great, I was just walking by and I thought it was you and there it is, it's you!

Joe: Yea, yea, it was. Harry: Are you still with the DA's office?

Joe: No I switched to the other side, what about you?

Harry: I work with a small firm and we do political consulting.

(sociable laughs all round)

Joe: Oh Harry this is Sally Allbright. Harry Burns. Ah...Harry and I use to uh...we lived in the same building.

(more sociable laughs)

Harry: Well listen I got a plane to catch, it was really good to see you Joe.

Joe: You too Harry. Harry: Bye.

(Sally nods)

Sally: Thank God he couldn't place me, I drove from College to New York with him five years ago and it was the longest night of my life.

Joe: What happened?

Sally: He made a pass at me and when I said no he was going with a girlfriend of mine uh... Oh God I can't even remember her name! Don't get involved with me Joe I am twenty six years old and I can't even remember the name of the girl I was such good friends with I wouldn't get involved with her boyfriend.

Joe: So what happened?

Sally: When?

Joe: When... when he made a pass at you and you said no and...

Sally: Oh, oh. I said we could just be friends. And this part I can remember he said that men and women could never really be friends. Do you think that's true?

Joe: No.

Sally: Do you have any women friends, just friends?

Joe: No. But I will get one if it is important to you.

Sally: Amanda Reese, that was her name, thank God.

Joe: I will miss you. I love you. Sally: You do?

Joe: Yes.

Sally: I love you.

(in the plane, Sally day-dreaming about something)

Air Hostess: And what would you like to drink?

Passenger: Nothing thanks.

Sally: Do you have any Bloody Marry mix?

Air Hostess: Yes.

Sally: Oh wait, here's what I want. Regular tomato juice, filled up about three quarters than add a splash of Bloody Marry mix, just a splash, and a little piece of lime, but on the side. Harry: (from a row behind Sally) The University of Chicago right?

Sally: (looks at Harry, sighs) Yes.

Harry: Did you look this good at the University of Chicago?

Sally: No.

Harry: Did we ever uh...(makes pumping fist gesture)

Sally: No! No! (to man sitting on her right) We drove from Chicago to New York together after graduation.

Man: Would you two like to sit together?

(Simultaneously...) Sally: No. Harry: Great! Thank you.

Harry: You were a good friend of umm...

Sally: Amanda's. I can't believe you can't remember her name.

Harry: What do you mean? I remember, Amanda right? Amanda Rice.

Sally: Reese. Harry: Reese, right! That's what I said! What ever happened to her?

Sally: I have no idea.

Harry: You have no idea? You were really good friends with her. We didn't make it because you were such good friends.

Sally: You went with her!

Harry: And was it worth it? The sacrifice for a friend that you don't even keep in touch with?

Sally: Harry, you might not believe this but I never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice.

Harry: Fair enough. Fair enough.

Harry: (contd) You were going to be a gymnast.

Sally: A journalist.

Harry: Right, that's what I said. And?

Sally: I am a journalist, I work at the news.

Harry: Great! And you're with Joe. Well that's great, great. You're together, what, three weeks?

Sally: A month, how did you know that?

Harry: You take someone to the Airport it's clearly the beginning of a relationship that's why I have never taken anyone to the Airport at the beginning of a relationship.

Sally: Why?

Harry: Because eventually if things move on and you don't take someone to the Airport, and I never wanted anyone to say to me, "How come you never take me to the Airport anymore?"

Sally: It's amazing, you look like a normal person but actually you're the Angel of Death. Harry: Are you going to marry him?

Sally: (gasping, lost for words) We have only known each other for a month and besides neither one of us is looking to get married right now.

Harry: Hmm, I'm getting married.

Sally: You are?

Harry: Umm hmm.

Sally: *You* are.

Harry: Hmm, yeah.

Sally: Who is she?

Harry: Helen Helson, she is a lawyer, she's keeping her name.

Sally: (laughs) You're getting married. Harry: Yeah.

Sally: (laughs some more)

Harry: What's so funny about that?

Sally: (laughs even more) It's a...well...It's just so optimistic of you Harry.

Harry: Well you'd be amazed what falling madly in love can do for you.

Sally: Well it's wonderful, it's nice to see you embracing life in this manner.

Harry: Yeah plus you know you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing.

Sally: What "whole thing"?

Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you're finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?

Sally: (In disgust) That's what you're thinking? Is that true?

Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there's your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.

Sally: I don't have a problem!

Harry: Yeah you do.