Academic Task 1
Article 1-作者：capital-st

There are several cases where the writer inverts the adjective and adverb. Pay particular attention to the areas like the following:

was slightly declined = declined slightly
was sharply decreased = decreased sharply
was sharp fall = fell sharply

There are more examples of this in the text.

Article 2-作者：scottmovie

The answer to the prompt fulfils the basic requirements, but not much else. It is difficult to see where the writer has added anything significant that we couldn’t see simply by looking at the chart. While the writing does use some good adjectives/adverbs to describe the changes, and the grammar and other features are fairly well under control, the writing is plain (‘this year it went up and this year it went down, and on again to the next year in a rather repetitive manner) and no different than literally thousands of other articles we can find. I suggest the writer try to offer more insight on some deeper trends and make some less obvious comparisons while spending more time analyzing the chart before she writes.

Article 3-作者：crystal0316

Very elementary mistakes, like spelling errors, failure to capitalize proper nouns and the first word of some sentences, and spacing problems are major distractions. Such errors might indicate to your reader a certain level of carelessness on the writer’s part, especially if other areas demonstrate a good level of writing, as in this writer. ALWAYS proofread what you have written when you finish. These errors, which would undoubtedly be rectified if the writer showed more care, would be cleaned up, as the failure to do so may make a significant and not-so-positive impression on your reader.

Academic Task 2
Article 4-作者：zhangweijie-xs

The writing here shows a need to improve in several grammatical and lexical areas, and though there are a fair amount of mistakes, none are too serious, that is, they could be fixed with more concentrated practice and study. Repeated mistakes are hard to identify, but one area the pops out clearly is incorrect word/phrase choice. Upon comparing the original and corrected articles, we can see that the word/phrase choice is often close to being correct. We could best summarize this problem as an imprecision on the writer’s part. Occasionally this includes placing words or phrases in the wrong place, e.g. at the end of the sentence rather than at the beginning a vice-versa. The best cure for these ills a slow, building-up of precision through long, hard and concentrated practice.

Article 5-作者：lanmoyaya

The example of the adaptability of traditional Chinese medicine and its modern application is a good one. However, as it is the only example, the essay has specifically become a thesis on traditional Chinese medicine. With that, the writer has gone away from the more general question of the compatibility of traditional culture and modernization, and the requirements of the prompt have not been met too well. The introduction and conclusion indicate that the writer will answer the question adequately, but it’s as if the body of the paragraph is missing an additional paragraph or two.

Don’t allow one good idea to dominate the essay. There is no need to expand a single idea at the expense of leaving out other ones. The 250 word length doesn’t allow for a detailed discussion, but it measures the writer’s ability to skilfully argue the question in a limited space. More ideas and following EXACTLY what the prompt asks would suit this essay better.

Article 6-作者：art08

Watch out for little tense and agreement errors that sometimes disrupt the fluency of an otherwise good response.

A pretty good response to the prompt and most areas are fairly well developed except for the second to last paragraph. The writer should be sure that each idea added is fully developed and adds significantly to the essay as a whole. I’d say that this paragraph doesn’t meet those requirements because it is more of a comment than a fully developed idea. It’s as if the writer said, “Oh, yeah! And I forgot to tell you one more thing before I run off…” If the writer added a couple more thoughts on making science and technology serve traditional culture, it would be sufficient. Otherwise, it the writer doesn’t have time or space to do it, it would be better to leave it out altogether as its inclusion in its current form detracts from, rather than adds to, the article.

Article 7-作者：lanchong820316

A lack of clarity is the most glaring issue in this essay. Read the introduction; is it clear what the writer is saying, or what he intends to write about, other than that he totally disagrees with the prompt? To me, it’s not, and this is the fundamental point of the essay. What are the “needs of society”; what are disseminators in this context, and what does their education have to do with anything? It is essential that your basic message is understood. Fancy expressions get you nowhere if they can’t be logically connected to the next thought or to the essay as a whole. Sometimes it’s necessary to simplify in order to get the meaning through, and this is especially the case at the beginning of the essay. If your reader is lost at the beginning, where and how will he find his footing and get back on track? You may have lost him forever. Keep the ideas, but simply and clarify the language.

General Task 1
Article 8-作者：zhangysit

The writer does a good job addressing all the bullet points as requested by the prompt. The major issue is the high volume of grammatical and lexical errors which affect the clarity of the letter. The grammatical area of particular concern is tense, while lexically the writer often makes inappropriate word choices. The tense issue should be relatively easier to fix as this letter demands no more that three tenses: present tense (introduce yourself); past tense/present tense/present perfect tense (explain the situation). The second conditional “would” could also be used (say what action you’d like the agency to take). The writer would do well to review these sections and take them as a starting point to improved accuracy.

General Task 2
Article 9-作者：whitecloud89

At 233 words, the article is under the minimum of 250 words. This would prove costly if this were submitted at the examination.

Large sections of the article are only partly related to the question asked in the prompt. Smoking in offices is mentioned once in passing, but as this is one of the central ideas in the prompt, one would think such a brief reference is far too little. Asking why people smoke, as the writer does in the second paragraph, may be a thoughtful question, but it is not a DIRECT response to the prompt, and it takes up vital space that could be filled by a better argument. For example, why not say something about how a ban on smoking affects our personal freedom, as the prompt is nudging you to do?

Further, an article shouldn’t just end. I was searching for a missing paragraph that I thought might have got lost in the word processor. How about a conclusion that nicely tidies things up?

Article 10-作者：kekeleaf

Much of the article provides a strong argument in this writer’s suggestion of a partial ban on smoking. However, the essay falls victim to what so many others have on this General Training Task 2: it does not fully answer the prompt. Smoking in public places is only one half of the prompt. The other half regards the prohibiting of smoking in businesses and their offices. Yet, at no point in the essay does the writer address this aspect which would theoretically need to be given equal emphasis in the article as that given to public smoking.

I cannot stress enough that writers absolutely need to study the prompt carefully and answer it EXACTLY as it requires. Your reader will know if you’re only answering half the question and will be left wondering if you forgot to answer the other part, if you misunderstood it, or simply ignored it. No matter how good your essay is in other areas (and this essay is indeed very good, bordering on excellent in my opinion), the overall score is going to suffer considerably if key sections of the prompt are ignored.